Time Stood Still

Dear Mark,

You are a good sleeper. Normally. However, last night at 3:30am, after a diaper blowout that resulted in new pajamas, you decided that you were awake. For a solid hour I rocked, swayed, and bounced all over the nursery in hopes of coaxing you back to sleep. You just kept grinning at me, clearly quite amused by my attempts. Eventually, I gave up and put you, very much awake, back into your crib. You must have been tired, because I hardly heard another peep from you until your usual wake up time of 8:00am.

After you finished eating, it was clear that you were still exhausted. Being up for an hour in the middle of the night had taken its toll. So, I cradled you in my arms. You immediately nuzzled up against me and fell right asleep. I kissed your little face, and as I listened to your rhythmic breathing, I begged time to stand still. Time seemed to comply for a while, and we sat in the glider, mother and son, for who knows how long. With a full heart, I stared at you, the answer to so many prayers, as you occasionally stirred or smiled in your sleep.

It is moments like these that keep me moving forward on the days in which I could use an extra hour of sleep.

Eventually you woke up, and the day began. You were off schedule, the house was a mess, I didn’t get breakfast or a shower, but it was incredibly worth it. Those baby cuddles won’t last forever. Each moment is a gift. Eventually, God willing, that tiny, perfect face will morph into that of a teenager. I will likely wake at 3:30am and peak in your room, just to make sure that you are safe. I am sure I will long for the mornings when you were still tiny and loved cuddling with your mommy. The mornings where time stood still while you slept in my arms.

Love,

Your mom

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