child loss

Revisiting the Past

In late July 2014, a nurse wheeled me, with empty arms, past happy moms with babies, through the hospital, and out to where Matt was waiting with the car. I carefully stepped into the van and sat, waiting on Matt... Continue reading →

A 2-Year-Old’s Wisdom

I’ve had conflicting feelings about Mother’s Day ever since Isabelle was born. Each May, I am reminded of what a blessing it has been to raise Mark the last two and a half years. This year I am reminded that... Continue reading →

Shattered Motherhood

I watched helplessly from across the kitchen as a feisty toddler innocently pulled at a teacup from its place of prominence on a shelf. All I could do was yell, “Mark, no!” and then watch it smash to pieces as... Continue reading →

A Box of Memories

As a child, one of the things I most looked forward to each Christmas was sorting through my ornament box. Each November, my dad would climb up in the attic and hand down boxes of Christmas decorations while my sister... Continue reading →

A Little Princess Wrapped in Pink

She would have had long brown curly hair like her mom and her grandmothers’ blue eyes. She would have loved to wear pink and danced around the room while watching princess movies. The image of Isabelle as a little girl... Continue reading →

Two Years Ago

July 26, 2016 Dear Isabelle, The world seems to keep on moving around me as I play with your brother and try not to focus on what happened two years ago today. I’m not sure how it is possible for... Continue reading →

She Made Me A Mother

I recently met an adorable little girl who was close in age to what Isabelle would have been. She had lots of curls and loved her daddy so much that she screamed when he had to leave for a bit.... Continue reading →